5 REASONS WOMEN (SHOULD) LOVE COLONOSCOPIES
(True Confessions, Vortexia) – I recently had a colonoscopy. For reasons I won’t go into here, I have had three over the course of ten years. I say it unashamedly. Proudly even.
The king of colon health awareness is, of course, the legendary humorist Dave Berry. Since it would be impossible to top his hilarious piece de resistance, A Journal Into My Colon and Yours miamiherald.com/283/story/427603.html I will simply address the benefits of this procedure from a woman’s perspective.
There are five very good reasons why women should/would love having a colonoscopy:
- The dreaded “prep” the day before the procedure, in which the patient is expected to drink copious amounts of fluid, and deposit equally copious amounts of fluid in their septic or sewer system, is an excuse to sequester yourself from the niggling demands of husband and/or children.
- The dreaded “prep” is also a convenient way to drop a couple of pounds over night.
- You are “knocked out” (semi-conscious) during the actual procedure. It means that you will enjoy a guilt-free deep sleep surrounded by motherly, pampering nurses; during the day, no less. Nice.
- Upon arriving back home the day of the procedure you can milk your recuperation for all it’s worth. No cooking, no cleaning, no nothing. Grab a blanket, a good book and/or video and sequester yourself from the niggling demands of husband and/or children.
- Better yet, niggling husbands and/or children will be forced to feel sorry for you and perhaps learn to appreciate you more. At least in the short term, until the day after the procedure when you will be expected to return to full-duty.
The truth be told, I am guilty of Nos. 1-4 above. And no, I don’t care that my husband’s empathy for me stems from the fact he’s glad he’s not the one having the abhorrent procedure. Sympathy is sympathy and I’ll take it whenever I can.
Of course, I jest. Kind of.
Really girls, you can do it! As I’m fond of telling my disbelieving husband: “I’ve given birth three times. A colonoscopy is nothing!”
If you have any suspicious symptoms, see your doctor and ask if you need to have a colonoscopy. If you are uninsured, check with local agencies to see if there are low cost clinics that can help you.
The peace of mind that comes from knowing you have a clean bill of health, or that you were able to catch something early before it became untreatable, is well worth the effort made. Not to mention the perks of rare self-indulgence women can glean from the experience.
Don’t put it off any longer. Do something about it today.
One note, and btw I agree with your assessment Teresa, however normally a doctor will try to push a colonoscopy that doesn't involve the lovely "Twilight Sedation." In other words, you're awake. Most doctors can find loopholes in a person's insurance that will enable them to have the most desired sedation--but the patient HAS TO ASK their doctor--insist even. Just a word to the wise.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I had to have a colonoscopy at 30 for reasons I won't go into here. It was nothing!! I'm trying to convince Troy to make an appointment.
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